Recently I have been approached by several people, asking how I am related to adoption.
I have never been quiet or shy about it. For example, I am pregnant right now and people will ask if it is my first. I usually reply saying, "No this is the second I will parent, but technically it is my third." Then proceed in the short version of, I have a 6 year old in an open adoption"
All of this leading to my prompting today to share My Relationship with Adoption.
I guess adoption first entered my life when I was 16. It was around Christmas time 2004, and my mom had begun to lock herself in her room, hiding in there for days. Finally someone, I think it was my older sister came to me and my little sister to explain to us why she was upset. She had received a letter from the daughter she had placed for adoption in 1978. Back in the 70's and 80's adoption or more a child out of wedlock was a hush hush subject, and the adoption was closed. Now I am not my mom and don't know her reasons for keeping it hidden from me and my siblings. I have never really been able to discuss it with her either. She never wants to talk about it. Then in December 2009, I was surprised to receive a friend request on Facebook, from my sister. She had spent some more time looking into where she came from and found me and my siblings on this social network full of millions of people. I have been able to now get to know my long lost sister over the last almost 4 years, and hope to get to meet her in person for the first time next summer. (she lives on the other side of the country.)
When I found out I was pregnant on June 17, 2006, I was 17 years old, the father and I had already broken up, I was about to begin my senior year of High school, and was living in a broken home. It took several more weeks to make the decision to place my unborn child. I mean it was ultimately an obvious choice, but placing that trust in some one else to care for this baby, accepting that you will not be there for this baby to kiss the boo boos, read to at night, watch learn and discover, that is where it makes the decision to difficult. So once I had prayed and cried and prayed and cried some more, I made the decision. Now I was placing in the 2000's when adoption was different. Open adoptions were now available and accepted and loved. After going what I had gone through with my mom and the anger and emotions of being 16 years old and never knowing I had another sister, I knew my children would know about thier older brother, and I chose an open adoption, in hopes that he would be able to know his other siblings has well. Now the adoption has slowly been closing over the last few years. I get a little upset and angry that the parents I chose, who told me they would keep it open and let me continue to know him and that I would get letters and pictures, have shut me out. However I don't regret my decision. I know he is loved, I know he has an amazing family, and he is being cared for and being given so many more opportunities than I can give him. That's what tells me I made the best decision. Even though I haven't seen him in 3 years and haven't really gotten an update in about a year. He continues to mean the world to me and prompt me in my life to do the best I can.
Adoption has touched me and my life in so many ways. My sister, My little boy, and 2 of my very dearest best friends are adoptee's. Adoption has become a large part of my life and has touched many chapters in my story.